You can't motorboat a personality
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So vagazzling was a success
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
