wanna go halves on a baby?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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