Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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