That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
