If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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