Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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