Three words: puerto rican gang bang
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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