I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
3pm strippers are depressing
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
