I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize