he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
