just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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