I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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