All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
