Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
