if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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