I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
