There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have post one night stand depression
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
