Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We talked him into tasing himself.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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