I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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