Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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