Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ttyl tear gas
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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