It's Friday. Sex?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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