Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
