Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
