um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
