so that wasnt chicken after all
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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