After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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