I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize