they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
