i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
