I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
