so that wasnt chicken after all
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
