he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
