i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
