I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
