You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
