Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
