Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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