You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
