I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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