We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
