He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
