At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
