Where is the hickey?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
