Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
