I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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