I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
