Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
