i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
