Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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