I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
