Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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