I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
