it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
worst night to have a conscience
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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