this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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