tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
