When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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