If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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