i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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