I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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