He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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