just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
