I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
