Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
