Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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